“I don’t know”

We’ve all been told that knowledge is power. But there’s a funny thing about knowledge – the best way to get it is to recognise you lack it. To be open and curious. To say, “I don’t know”.

“I wonder how this works?”

“Why do we do it like this?”

“Is there a better way of doing things?”

Authentic leaders need to strive for this kind of curiosity. Admit we don’t know all the answers. Admit there’s a big ‘unknown’ (or maybe there are several of them).

“I don’t know” is a hard thing to say – especially at work, where we like to project confidence and competence. We’re experts, we’re in charge.

“I don’t know” chips away at that identity. Maybe we feel it will strip us of our status as leaders. It can be scary, but it’s also where curiosity begins. And leveraging that curiosity can help us move forward and find the better versions of ourselves, and our teams.

So yes, knowledge is power. But there’s also power in not knowing; in being comfortable with answers and ideas that come not just from within us, but within our team. A true leader asks questions and listens to everyone – especially if they have different levels of experience, different backgrounds, different outlooks. Maybe you don’t have an answer, but your team does.

Depending on the kind of business you’re running, your definition of “team” might go wider than just the people in your company. Maybe you engage experts, stakeholders, customers, other businesses. Every time you say “I don’t know” you increase your capacity for success. You embolden other team members to feel comfortable with curiosity. You encourage openness, sharing, experimentation.

“Every time you say “I don’t know” you increase your capacity for success. You embolden other team members to feel comfortable with curiosity. You encourage openness, sharing, experimentation.”

When I look at some of the most successful football teams I’ve played with, they’ve been very diverse, and they’ve fostered diverse ways of thinking. You go and pluck kids from all over the country, completely different ages, completely different backgrounds, cultures, languages and you throw them together with a team of managers. All these people are assets, but they also know things their leaders don’t.

A good leader is one who’ll listen and collaborate. A good team is one that knows they’ll be heard.

And listening doesn’t just mean hearing – it means sitting with the input you’ve been given. You may feel confronted, you may feel uncomfortable. No need to immediately act or respond. Give it time, and perspective.

Actually listening, then digesting, then circling back over a period of time, and then having a conversation – that’s where the advantage lies. Ask, listen and formulate ideas, then implement solutions.

This is how you build success with “I don’t know” and get the best out of your team. The best work ethic or the best cohesion, or the best answer.

When we admit we don’t know everything, we have permission to bring a new set of behaviours to the table. Ones that might seem contrary to traditional models of leadership. Behaviours like playfulness, softness, openness. Being generous, being collaborative. Asking more questions than we answer.

“When we admit we don’t know everything, we have permission to bring a new set of behaviours to the table. Ones that might seem contrary to traditional models of leadership.”

If you say, “I don’t know”, it means you are learning.

It takes you beyond your own experiences and invites new ones in.

It lets you discover and support the strengths in the team around you.

It allows you to listen and learn from other genders, cultures, ages. You get to elevate other perspectives.

Because you don’t have all the answers, you need to ask more questions.